Better?

In the song featured above, Regina Spektor asks her friend how she can make her feel better. The idea is that when we were children, our mothers could kiss us where we were sore and often enough, we would feel better. Her friend needs more then a kiss on the knee this time, but with out an effective solution, Regina is "getting sadder and sadder" and she doesn't understand what her friend needs.
Like the people in the song, we as counselors are interested in helping our clients feel "better". People are more complex than we ever dreamed and without an effective strategy for dealing with pain, counselors are susceptible to issues such as vicarious traumatization, empathy fatigue, and depression.
While many counselors are vigilant about learning the best methods from treating their clients and reading the latest research on their area of focus, they are less faithful in taking care of themselves. "The Anxiety Cure" offers a wealth of information about the impact of not resting properly as well as practical ways to implement healthier habits into your routine. Being a responsible counselor includes taking proper care of your own mind and body so that you can fully engaged in the work God has for you. Feel better, so that you can help other people feel better.

Cripple Me

Today I heard a song called cripple me. It is the story of a man who is running away from the woman he loves. contrary to his actions, he actually wants to stay with her and asks that she "cripple him" so that he will be unable to run away from her.
This song reminded me of a story I've heard in Christian circles, that shepherds in Bible times would break the legs of lambs that constantly wandered away. The idea is that the shepherd would set the broken leg and carry the lamb on his shoulders until the leg healed. When the lamb was well enough to walk alone, it would chose to stay by the shepherd's side for the rest of its life due to the bonding experience of being carried on his shoulders.
Because of the Christian setting I heard this story in, I always assumed the story from the Bible, or at least that is was based on Biblical principles, but now I'm not so sure. Though God has the right to force our allegiance by "crippling us" in some manner, that is not something we see the good shepherd do in scripture. How does the shepherd draw his sheep? My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. (John 10:27) The sheep recognize the voice of the shepherd.
I think we've created the story of the shepherd breaking the legs of stray lambs, because that would be so much easier for us. If God made it physically impossible for us to wander from his side we would never wander into sin and pain and we could always be sure we are on the right path. Easy as that would be, God allows us to choose him or reject him. In the song above, the woman is not going to cripple the man. When she stands at the alter offering him her kiss and her whole life, there is a window of opportunity which will slam shut if he rejects her. She will not force him anymore than the shepherd forces us. We have to choose.

Here Come Da Judge

"Judge". What comes to mind when you hear the word? A man wearing a long black robe, and perhaps a powdered wig? Simon Cowell from American Idol? The general tone is of a rather grouchy, detached, powerful man or woman making a ruling that will change your life. Each of us has an opinion, but how often do we preface it by saying, "I, don't want to judge", or when we are self conscious about our behavior we turn to our friend and say, "don't judge". In the Christian world, we readily quote Jesus' words in Luke 6:37 saying, " Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.". Rarely does one hear a reference to Luke 12:57 "Why don’t you judge for yourselves what is right?"
So what is judging? Which kind do we avoid and which do we embrace? At the end of someones life we generally say, "He was a good person", while during his life we had a great list of complaints we never mentioned to his face. Often, we hope our friends went to heaven but are left wondering because we didn't want to appear judgmental by having conversations about religion. Rather than quavering in fear, we are called upon to use our discernment. Is it important to do what is right? Than judge rightly and act accordingly. As Christians, we know that right and wrond is not a matter of opinion. God has laid our his standards for holy living in his words and as Christians we are called to hold each other accountable and "sharpen one another as iron sharpens iron." This discernment is not made from the position of an aloof judge, but as a loving friend in a close relationship.

What's the Bad Man Got To Do With It?

"Loving the Bad Man," a project of Stone Bridge Films and Eastlake Films, is coming to theaters in April. It tells the story of a 23 year old, Christian woman who is raped, becomes pregnant, and chooses to not only keep the baby, but also visit the baby's father in jail and tell him she forgives him. Early in the story, her parents expect her to have an abortion due to the circumstances under which she became pregnant.
With respect, I must admit that using rape as a reason for an abortion has always been rather puzzling to me. Let me explain. People must begin by deciding whether or not a fetus is a human and if as such, they have a right to life. If they do not then I suppose rape is a decent reason to terminate the pregnancy. By that token, so is a flourishing career, a failing marriage, a fear of parenting, a chance of birth defects, and any other issue that might concern the pregnant woman. It is her body, her choice, and there are no significant guidelines.
Then again, if this unborn baby is a person and he or has the right to life, that right should not be jeopardized by parent's misdeeds. The younger the child, the more dependent he or she is on her parents for protection and none is weaker and more dependent than an unborn child. When a parents commits a terrible crime and is given a death sentence, no state kills their children as well, simply for being related. They committed no crime and such a punishment would be unjust. So why do the rules change regarding the unborn, the smallest and weakest of all persons. A mother in this case or other cases may well consider whether or not she is able to adequately care for her child, but at no point should the crime of the parent justify the death of the child.
Our class is currently reading, "Hurt People Hurt People". Throughout this book, Dr. Wilson writes about Biblical ways to respond to hurt and how to find healing and forgiveness. If the unborn are people, we should not hurt them, no matter how much we ourselves are hurt.

A Dragon Transformed

In, "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" we encounter a rather unfriendly character named Eustace. When his cousins Edmund and Lucy return to the magical land of Narnia, he is inadvertantly brought along and is far from happy about the expedition. He spends much of his time complaining, declairing himself sick, writing nasty things in his journal, and causing mischief around the boat. One day they go to an island where Eustace wanders off and finds an enchanted treasure. He tries to gather as much of the treasure as he can, but this is hard work and he falls asleep. When Eustace wakes up, he finds that he has been transformed into a dragon. At first his counsins and their friends do not recognize him, but when they discover what happened they welcome Eustace back and try to make him comfortable. During his time as a dragon, Eustace reflects on his bad behavior and decides to change his ways. Instead of causing trouble, he looks for ways to help his friends, such as hauling trees that they use to repair their ship, and making a fire to keep the crew warm. Although Eustace is improving his behavior, he is still a dragon and that is beyond his ability to change. Eustace desperately tears at his dragon scales, but it is no use. At last, it is the lion Aslan that tears the scales off and frees Eustace from the dragon body he was trapped in.

During our class, we discussed the difference between the soul and the spirit. When the person makes Jesus lord of their life, their soul is saved entirely, once and for all. However, their spirit is in need of sactification, that is, the process of becoming more like Jesus Christ. Although people can try to improve their behavior both before and after their soul is redeemed, we will all be pitiful dragons unless we submit ourselves to Jesus and allow him to set us free.

No Closer to Truth

Shawn Spencer is a psychic. Actually, that is a lie. Shawn has a photographic memory and a knack for picking up on tiny details so he helps the Santa Barbara Police department solve crimes. He was right so consistently that the police thought he might be in on the crimes and to keep from being arrested, Shawn decided the psychic story was a pretty convenient option. Sounds great doesn't it? Shawn is naturally skilled at solving these high profile puzzles and gets to do so alongside his best friend Gus and a cute detective named Juliet. But Shawn has a problem. Although he would like to date Juliet, he is hesitant because she would find out that he was lying about being a psychic.

In class we discussed the possibility that "Everything that is real is not necessarily true". In this case, Shawn Spencer really does solve cases, but he lies about his methods. The police department doesn't understand how Shawn solves the cases, but they are more interested in catching their villian than discovering the truth about Shawn Spencer. In the area of counseling, people come up with real solutions, but fail to lead their clients any closer to truth. Many clients simply want to feel better about themselves and there are many ways to reach that goal, at least temporarily. Find the "villian" in their life that is making them uncomfortable, be it grief, anxiety, or a rocky marriage, and alieviate the client's suffering. While the client and counselor may sucessfully accomplish their stated goals, their efforts are ultimately wasted if the client does not come to the truth that most of all, he needs a restored relationship with God.

Be Still… and KNOW!!

What is meditation? Webster Defines it in the following ways:

1. To engage in contemplation or reflection

2. To engage in mental exercise

With such an array of possibilities, how does a Christian go about meditating? The word “meditate” is used 18 times in the book of Psalms. Is it as simple (or difficult) as emptying your mind, or perhaps finding your happy place? What exactly are we supposed to meditate on? Two weeks ago, our class was challenged to sit and meditate during 15 minutes of class time. We were instructed, not to empty our minds, but to still them. Practically speaking, I don’t see what the difference is. Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I am God”, but the class exercise seemed more like a Buddhist search for serenity or a higher state of spiritual awareness. As I looked more into Psalm 46:10, I found that rather than simply commanding a controlled state of inactivity, the word “still” comes from a Hebrew word meaning to “let go” or “release.” So in context, this would look like submitting ourselves to God and admitting that he is sovereign and in control of our lives.

But how is the word “meditate” used in the Bible? Time after time, the Psalmist describes himself as thinking about something; primarily God’s word and his creation. So as Christians, we should release control of our lives and turn them over to God, but when we seek to meditate, we should actively focus our mind on God. And how can we know him? Through general revelation certainly, that is the natural world, but also through the special revelation of God’s word. As Psalm 119:48 says, “I reach out for your commands, which I love, that I may meditate on your decrees.”