Can Sin Be Rationalized?

In this blog, I wanted to focus on the topic of Sin.  The reason being is because of the discussion that was brought up last week in class on homosexuality.  Though the videos I posted here do not directly address the sin of homosexuality, I believe that it could not be any more on target as to how Christians often try to redirect the focus of sin in their own lives to the sin in the lives of others.  In these videos, Pastor Greg Laurie addresses the problem of Christians attempting to rationalize and minimize the sin in their lives.  In the first video, he challenges Christians to ask God to bless these sins they consider as minuscule.  In the second video, he explains how even the smallest of sin finds its way into our everyday lives and eventually knocks us down when we least expect it.   
 

How it relates to counseling:

This relates to Christian counseling because Christian counselors should always be fully aware of their own weaknesses to sin and never feel superior to their clients but rather join them in their struggles and be willing to extend mercy to them.  Also, if Christian counselors lose vigilance in their own walk with Christ, they too can easily fall into deep sin and not only bring harm to themselves but the lives of their clients as well.  Especially in the counseling setting, Christian counselors can become so fixated on trying to make people choose the right decisions instead of investing in them and joining them in their struggles in order to lead them to Christ.

Above all, Christian counselors are to instill hope in others not diminish it by making others feel as though they are any less because of the sin in their lives.  Truth is that we all fall short of the grace of God; nonetheless, God extends the same hand of mercy to us all.  He promises that there is nothing that can separate us from Him and if Christian counselors are to impact the lives of others, they too should extend the same hand of mercy that was extended to them.  Regardless of one’s sin, love and mercy should always be representative of Christ above all.  It is important to understand that love does not mean acceptance of the sin but rather the complete opposite.  If you truly love someone, you would tell them the truth.  Love and truth are inseparable and never place one higher than the other. 

My personal response: 

In my opinion, people who show the most mercy are those who have experienced mercy in their own lives at its fullest.  I have seen Christians, who simply go through the motions of the Christian life, be the harshest on these blatant sins such as “homosexuality” and minimize other not so blatant sins in their own lives.  I believe that if one has truly accepted and understood the mercy of God, one can in turn extend that same mercy to others.

So my goal is to be able to see others through the eyes of God and rather than trying to “fix them” I pray that I will be able to instill hope in them and find strength in Christ to overcome the sin that enslaves them. 

They're not monsters, guys.

This past week in 507, the hot topic of homosexuality was unexpectedly discussed. The reason it got brought up was because of the newly popular article about a man's journey of being gay and coming out at Liberty University. There were a number of different opinions about the article, the topic of homosexuality, how the professors responded, etc. and the whole time this was being discussed and people were voicing their opinions about "those kinds of people", I couldn't help but feel sympathy for those with same sex attraction. Unfortunately, much to many churches and Christians are responding very poorly to the issue and it is honestly breaking my heart. Too many people are focusing on the political aspects and are fighting as hard as they can against the issue that it seems like the only thing being communicated is hatred. I came across a really great article on christianpost.com and I really like what Alex Murashko had to say. His overall point in this article is that we need to start looking past all of the debating and look at the individuals. He argues that we, as a church, need to show much more compassion towards those struggling with same sex attraction. Not go so far as accepting the behaviors, but recognizing that there is a struggle there. He wrote something that encouraged me when he said that there's a church in D.C. who meets each week to discuss how to better care for these struggling individuals. I love that. They're more concerned with how they can lend a helping and loving hand instead of being concerned about "letting those people near our children" or "keeping them away from our families."

How this relates to counseling:
It goes without saying that we all are going to encounter clients who are struggling with homosexual tendencies. Instead of referring them because we don't agree with their behaviors, we need to show compassion and instead counsel the person through it. Yes that will be difficult to do if we are in secular settings because many of those practices teaches us how to assist someone in coming out, but I still believe that we can be loving and try to understand the hurt the person is feeling underneath. There is always some way to love someone. And as I have said in my previous post, we ALL have a struggle of some kind. A person with same sex attraction just happens to wear their struggle on their sleeve.

My personal response:
I took a class here at Liberty in undergrad called "Addictions and the recovery process" with the late Dr. Pitts. He was an absolutely brilliant man and I learned a great deal from him. He is a recovering drug addict so I really respected his insights into the struggles of addictions especially since I'm the daughter of two recovering drug addicts myself. In this class, we talked about homosexuality which at first shocked me. But the more he unpacked it the more it makes sense to classify homosexuality as a sexual addiction. When placed through that lens, it hits home for me. Seeing both my parents struggle through their recoveries, I understand how hard it is to resist an addiction. So instead of making homosexual people out to be these monsters, how about we instead take a step back and look for the hurting person within them. I guarantee there's hurt there. And we as counselors need to be much more sensitive to that. The church spends all this time preparing missionaries for their trips over seas by teaching them the language, the culture, the dress codes, etc. so why aren't we attempting to do the same for the homosexual community? Why aren't we attempting to reach out to them and love on them so as to create opportunities to share about the healing ministry of Jesus Christ? Why are we seeing them only for their sinful behaviors? That makes no sense to me.

I think these two pictures sum this post up perfectly:

Follow Your Heart?

From almost every Disney movie (Mulan, Pinocchio, Peter Pan) to practically any song written by an American Idol contestant to basically anything that comes out of Hollywood we are constantly told to “follow your heart.” Should we? More specifically, should we as Christians listen to this advice? Before we answer that question, we need to answer another one first. What does that even mean, “Follow your heart?” The definition for “heart” can be somewhat muddy as often happens with terms that are used frequently without any question. Defining what the term “heart” means, from a Christian perspective is crucial in discerning this piece of advice.

In class, I learned the heart can be thought of as the command center of a person; the part of a person that controls intellectual life, emotional life, volitional life, and spiritual life.  In the simplest terms, the “heart” can be thought of as “the inner man (or woman)” or the essence of personality. It is fundamental to a person; the center of their being. In the Bible, the term “heart” is used over and over again in the Old Testament as well as the New Testament.

The question still remains, should I follow it? For example, should I follow my heart when I am looking for a spouse? Maybe logic and reason is better to follow? In the Bible, the term “heart” is used over and over again in the Old Testament as well as the New Testament. Let’s look at what the Bible says about the heart briefly…

Jeremiah 17:9- The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?

Psalm 73:21- Then I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside.

Exodus 14:4- And once again I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, and he will chase after you.

Proverbs 4:23- Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

The heart can be hardened, bitter, and deceitful. Still sound like something you want to follow? Instead of following it, the Bible instructs us to guard it. I would say we guard it by balancing our “heart thoughts” with our “mind thoughts” (rational thinking; reason). Of course, we don’t want to become so rational we end up like Spock in Star Trek incapable of emotion. In an article on Psychology Today, Aaron Ben-Zeev speaks to this integration of the heart and mind when considering who our spouse will be. He says the mind deals with intellectual reasoning where the heart deals with emotional reasoning. He goes on to say that lovers usually prefer emotional reasoning over intellectual reasoning.

He states, “married people who have a forbidden romantic relationship might say that love is more significant than outdated conventions, and letting their heart have the freedom to choose is more genuine than being loyal to such conventions. In other cases, such a forbidden relationship enables people to escape a bad marriage and in the name of love to create a safe oasis outside the home so as to make home life more tolerable.” 

This is where I have to disagree with what he says. If one follows their heart- their emotional reasoning- it could, in some cases, lead someone to justify an affair which is strictly against the Word of God.  This is the danger of letting our heart lead. Instead, we should integrate our heart and mind as we move forward in the process of choosing a spouse and throughout it all seek wisdom from the ultimate source of wisdom- God.

Proverbs 2:6- For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

James 1:5- If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.

            As Christian counselors, especially marriage and family therapists may very well have a client who is in the process of seeking a spouse or trying to navigate love. It is our responsibility to not only point them away from the misleading advice the world gives on a daily basis, but know where to point them by using our knowledge of the Scripture.

             In my opinion, far too many teenagers and young adults fall into the trap set by Hollywood. Following your heart is set up to be a fairy tale of epic proportions. If you follow your heart, the picture that’s painted is that you will end up in a field of flowers with your perfect lover by your side where nothing can pull you apart because you were meant for each other. Sadly, many find out that emotional reasoning, not tempered with reason and a relationship with Christ leads to hurt and pain.

Hollywood and Disney does not have the answers we seek. Don’t follow your heart, follow Christ and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4- Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.

Nine-Year-Old Loses Leg...but Saves Sister

Would you do ANYTHING to save someone YOU love-even at the expense of your own life?

Would you hesitate, or need some time to think about it?

When I saw this video and

article about 9 year old Anaiah Rucker, it reestablished my belief in pure altruism.

The opening line of the

video gave me goose bumps sharing that her little sister (pictured hugging her in the pink) "can now blow bubbles without a care" because her big sister "cared enough." What they were referring to was one day as the two girls were making their routine walk across the street (while their mom was watching from the porch), when a truck came driving toward them and did not see them. Anaiah in a split second made a decision to push her sister out of the way and take the hit that would have most likely been fatal to her little sister. She also could have been killed, but ultimately ending up being knocked unconscious and her injuries eventually resulted in a lost leg.

This story obviously made me think of our heavenly Father who also took the "hit for us" and how our repentance, along with the acceptance of this truth plays such a significant part in our own healing both physically, emotionally and spiritually. It also made me think of how almost every book we have read including Telling Yourself the Truth, The Bondage Breaker, How to Help People Change, and Effective Biblical Counseling have all addressed our sin issue, selfishness, and the need to constantly replace the lies with the truth. They each made clear how often this is only done with the help of others who can help us not be blind-sided by the lies. What would it look like if we had the faith of this child to simply ACT and not even hesitate to QUESTION that truth?

When asked by the reporter what it was in that moment that caused her to act, Anaiah simply said of her sister that she "was too young to be hit like this...She would probably be gone forever." She then made the comment that still sticks with me as she paused and said "I just love her, she's like a friend." Profound. In the book Connecting Larry Crabb challenges us to fight for each other and be there for each other in Biblical community.

So I pose and ponder another question...what would it look like if we fought for each other, took "hits" for each other, stood up for each other, not thinking of any loss to ourselves...simply because we loved each other..."cared enough"... and called each other "friend?"

That kind of connection could change the world...and give many counselors a much lighter case load!

Love and Evil

Just past the lover's holiday, Valentine's day, the topic of love is still fresh on people's mind. Much thought is given to significant others, flowers, chocolates, etc. It's not as common for people to get as excited about God's love. In class this past week, a random question was raised. "Why does God allow evil?" Everyone waited for our professor's response. Rolling up the projector screen, he sat down on the desk and began by talking about God's love.

If God created man for His glory and gave man no choice but to serve Him with the attitude, "You're going to serve me and you better love me too...cause you're stuck with it," that would be good love. However, if He made man with the ability to choose right or wrong and who could choose to love Him or not and yet still love man, that's better love. The best love, is the when God made man, with the ability to choose good or evil, and man choosing to evil and choosing to reject God, and yet still loving him nonetheless. That's the best love. Dr. Larry Crabb, in his book, Connecting, describes more the loving relationship that God has for mankind. Crabb describes how God desires to connect with man and help us become more like Christ. He goes on to explain the healing that deep connection with God and with man can bring about in an individuals life and how counseling can help with these connections.

I appreciated, Dr. Corsini's answer to the question, and how he focused on God's unconditional love. It's challenged me to look at life a little differently, trying to view things in light of God's love rather than in light of all the tragedies that occur in life. Although, I still struggle with my own sin and it's negative consequences, it is encouraging to recognize God's unending, unconditional love. I think we could all stand to dwell on that concept.

Can we really love our enemies, or that it’s just utopian expectation?

We all have heard of read last week about Florida Pastor Terry Jones who had planned to burn the Koran on the 9/11. And despite all the protest and internal and international leaders who pleaded with him not to do it, for a while, he was still thinking to incinerate the Koran, as we can read in the Wall Street Journal article.

One of the questions that popped into my mind it’s how does this pastor see and understand Jesus’ teaching from Matthew 5:43-45 “You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.”But the question it’s still there and I think it’s a just one. Can we really love our enemy? Can we really have feelings of love towards them, since we cannot have control over what we feel, or at least the control we have it is very limited? Well … in my opinion ….the question itself it’s wrong, because it’s based on a wrong assumption of what the word love means in the Bible.

What do I mean by that? One of the golden rules in Hermeneutics it is to interpret any writings through the eyes of culture that was written by. For us, the western civilization, love is essentially feelings. But the teaching of Jesus, and of the Bible, does not come from a western civilization culture, does it? For a Middle East nation love it’s NOT essentially feelings, but first of all means action. This is why those cultures have arranged marriages. I think the best example of this is the parable of the Good Samaritan, were Jesus defines what love is. Could the Samaritan have any positive feelings for a completely stranger … coming from an enemy nation, that was just robbed? Almost sure he did not have feelings for that man, but still he loved him helping him, doing something good for him.

The most quoted and known verses from the Bible it’s another great example: John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” There are a lot of examples in the Bible where love is seen mainly as action because for Hebrews love meant before anything … doing something, acting for the benefit of the person you love. “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13 (NIV)

Probably Paul, as an “international missionary” was aware of this cultural difference of understanding of love and probably he wanted to point it out, quoting a much older writing, (in his letter to the Christians from Rome) and clarifying what Jesus meant when he said “Love your enemies”. Also I think this passage may possibly answer our question “Can we really love our enemies, or that it’s just utopian expectation?”
Here is what he said:
On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:20-21 (NIV)