Free to Be Me

In 2008 Francesca Battistelli came on the Christian music scene with her debut CD “My Paper Heart” and the hit single “Free to be me”. The song is catchy and upbeat so like many such songs, it was severely overplayed by Christian radio stations. Now that a few years have passed, it is time we give this song another look and see how it relates to our discussion of the ideal person.

In a previous post, Neil spoke about the need to find significance in order to achieve the “ideal self”. As Christians, we can know that our significance is not dependant our achievements. We do not have to be successful businessmen, skilled doctors, or effective counselors in order to have a secure identity and an ideal self. Our significance is found in being a child of God and with that unshakable security, we are free to live and pursue our goals without fear. As Francesca Battistelli puts it:

On my own, I'm so clumsy

But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me

As Lauren stated in her post about ideal functioning, “There is a level of subtle perfection that we feel must be achieved before we can be considered ‘normal’.” The world demands that we achieve this ideal state on our own or possibly supported by friends and family. We aren’t perfect though. Actually, we aren’t even close, and that is great! As Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 12:9

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

So what is the ideal person? Someone continually becoming more like Christ Jesus and thereby becoming the person they were born to be. Carried on the shoulders of God, I am at last “free to be me”.

TREE OCTOPUS NEEDS YOU

EVERYONE READING, PLEASE HELP! We will each be held responsible, if we let one more species of God's creation go extinct. Loggers in Washington have finally gone one step too far, but if we all band together we can reverse this travesty! One of the most fascinating endangered species in the United States is the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus. It is a valuable part of the rainforest there. Please consider doing your part...even one dollar can help save them from extinction. Please pass this on to everyone you know!

Convinced? Well don't worry, you can put your wallet away. This phony website, has been around for awhile, but was recently used in a study by a University of Connecticut professor and highlighted on CNN. It was presented as a hoax to test how/if internet "facts" would be readily believed without critical evaluation by elementary school children doing a research project. Many students, even after hearing that the tree octopus was a fraud, still said they believed in it. In the counseling profession, we are constantly challenged to know, and guide our clients to discover truth. Many presenting problems, stem from our faulty beliefs in something that is not true about ourselves or God.

In the book The Bondage Breaker by Neil Anderson, we see that the devil is the ultimate deceiver. He perfectly packages lies, and we buy them for the truth all the time, often without much critical evaluation. I can look back, even earlier today, and see moments in my life where I believed a lie over the truth of God's word, and ended up in bondage. How many times have we believed them? We live in an age of overwhelming media: television, newspapers, radio, and the literal world wide web of "facts" and fraud that can tangle us up! I'm sick of being deceived, and desire to be a person and future counselor who is a critical consumer and evaluator in each circumstance big or small! Through this process, I need the Holy Spirit to guide me into all truth, and in turn I know that the truth can set me and many others free...even from losing money saving the Tree Octopus.

Do THE WORK

Have you ever struggled, like me, with an unwanted thought that you just can't seem to control? Have you ever just wished you could have a few simple steps to get rid of your depression/sadness and just be happy and at peace again? If so, according to Byron Katie, The Work may be your answered prayer! I would love to believe her website claims, that suffering is optional, and dependent on changing your thoughts. She says her joy hasn't left her "for even a single moment" since doing The Work! She declares this can be true for every human being, and that freedom is as simple as changing your thoughts.

I found out about this program as I was listening to a friend process her counseling appointment about changing depressive, and perfectionistic thought patterns and feelings. Her counselor encouraged her to learn to ask herself 4 questions to change her thinking. She shared with me that she was really struggling with the concept of such great change being found in the 4 simple questions. Counseling supposes that there is an ideal self. It is interesting to see how many people claim they have found the way to get there! From what I've read of author Jay Adams in the book, How To Help People Change, I think he would scoff and have a field day with this suggested change process. His belief is that the heart needs alteration before any substantial change can happen, and not simply one's changed thoughts. But aren't they connected?

In class we have been discussing the immaterial aspects of a person and their ideal functioning. I am wresting with what our thoughts, and the heart actually are, how they have become so corrupt, and how change takes place in each. I think that it is not an either/or situation and that when either aspect changes, there is overlap. I know the Bible says that the heart is deceitful and in need of God, but it also addresses clearly how we need to take captive our thoughts. I think that our thoughts are a product of the state of our heart. The Work doesn't appear to come from Biblical motivation, yet it has worked for many, and in my opinion the 4 step process is Biblically based. Is this an example of all truth ulitimately being God's truth?

Political Unrest and the Search for Significance

The political unrest in Egypt is making waves in the headlines, revealing the desires of the people to have a different government. This can be for various reasons; however, it ultimately comes back to their desires and beliefs that they deserve something better as they search for their own significance.

In class last Thursday, we spoke about what is the ideal person. This made me think about what each individual believes is their own ideal self, or rather, what they believe they should look like if they were “healthy” individuals. However, can a person really pursue this, if their freedoms are limited by their government? To rephrase this, is the ideal person achievable only when they are free to find their significance?

As a Christian, I believe that there is no such thing as a perfect person. So my view of ideal is more so determined by my worldview, and finding my worth in Christ. For that reason, I believe that if certain freedoms were taken away, I could still be satisfied because of my relationship with Christ. However, if we are to use counseling to help someone become their “ideal” self, then we must take into perspective what their worldview is of the ideal self. Some people will not be able to find their ideal selves when limited by freedom, because this life is all that they have. Now I am not saying that Christians should never oppose the government, and we have examples of such with our own nation during the events that led up to the Revolutionary War. But can the people of Egypt find this “ideal self” if they do not actually gain their freedom? Is the search for freedom (and significance) worth the price of life itself? One thing is certain: choosing to act is one of the rare freedoms that no one can take away.

Is There An Ideal of Functioning?

“Don’t forget to be awesome!” This is the motto of a group of thousands of people across the world known simply as Nerdfighters. They are intelligent, self-proclaimed nerds, and have raised over $350,000 collectively for charity through their efforts to “decrease world suck” (as they affectionately call the hardships of the world). The group originated two years ago as a side effect of a YouTube channel John and Hank Green opened. Their project, Brotherhood 2.0, was an attempt to reject the superficiality of text communication and to delve into what it meant to be brothers and to be human. They spoke of world events, personal problems, and wrote songs filled with scientific fact. And that resonated with people. It gave them courage to be themselves in a world that demands conformity.

The goal of counseling is to guide a person to a place of optimized functioning for their life. As a class we were challenged to examine whether a universal ideal of functioning existed. Can one person function in relationships and society with a condition or disorder that another person would be disabled by? There is a level of subtle perfection that we feel must be achieved before we can be considered “normal”. However, the optimal life for one person may not be the same for another. Human resilience varies and what could incapacitate one person may barely faze another.

Emotion is natural; struggling is a part of life. Acknowledge the components of your life and learn to adapt. Recognize when you need the help and support of others around you. Draw upon it as if it is your life source when you need it. I believe that is through community that we gather our strongest defenses against the loneliness that would isolate us in our illnesses, whether physical or mental. It is not up to society to determine what is normal; rather, it is up to the individual to influence society. John and Hank may not have realized it at the time, but they were challenging the societal concept of normality when they began their campaign challenging people to be themselves – be awesome.

Are We Material or Immaterial?

Are human beings material or immaterial? Are we made up of a bunch of cells or are we much more complex than that? Numerous questions were asked in class regarding this controversial subject. What about those numerous accounts of out of body experiences? Can one really float in space and look down at their body? Thinking about spooky stuff like this makes the X-Files tune pop in my head.

Journi A. Smed says that Out of body experiences (OBE) are fairly common and that "one out of ten to twenty people are likely to have an OBE at least once." Most accounts of these occur when people are sleeping, resting, or dreaming. Other times, they occur with an apparition. This is when the OBE travels to a remote location where he/she sees someone and is aware of being seen. This witness then confirms that he/she saw an apparition.

From a Christian worldview, I believe that we are both material and immaterial because the Bible says we were created in God's image (Genesis 1:26-27). Likewise, Jesus says that we are to love God with all of our heart, soul, strength and mind (Luke 10: 27). Our soul and mind are immaterial and our bodies are material, therefore I believe humans are both.

A Person’s a Person, No Matter How Small

Horton Hears a Who! is an animated film adapted from a beloved children’s book by Dr. Seuss. The story centers around Horton, a bumbling yet brave elephant and McDodd, the mayor of Whoville. McDodd’s whole world is no more than a tiny speck from Horton’s view, and Horton is so large and far away that Mayor McDodd cannot actually see him. They can hear each other though, and it is through their conversations that Horton learns that he must find a safe place for the speck in order for the people of Whoville to survive.

During week two of this semester, our class spent some time talking about the definition of “person”. A Christian defines persons as having both a body and a soul; a carbon shell in which God has placed his very breath. At what point in our development do we become persons endowed with a soul as well as a body?

Many claim that human life does not begin until birth, or at least not until the unborn child is capable of surviving outside the womb. The writer of Psalm 139:16 states “Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Based on this description of God knowing us before we were born, many Christians claim that life begins at conception. Although the story of Horton Hears a Who! is not a direct allegory about the abortion situation, I am proud to state with Horton that, “A person’s a person, no matter how small!”

Abortion Doctor Charged with Eight Counts of Murder

This article particularly addresses an abortion doctor charged with 8 counts of murder out of Philadelphia. http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/01/19/national/main7261741.shtml While we sometimes read of cases with similar content, I think this one is very much in the realm of our class content and how a world view affects certain decisions. In an ideological perspective, I think many would agree that there is an almost totalitarian democratic movement going on in the United States as we speak. Many individuals want to be able to do what they want, how they want, and when they want to do it with little or no consequence.

The Theology aspect in a biblical world view is what concerns me the most. Now while there are doctors at large that perform abortions with no regard for the lives at hand, this doctor was murdering the children after they had been born with a pair of scissors after inducing labor. It is largely concerning that the medical practice allowed this kind of blatant disregard for human life for nearly 30 years. While there had been many allegations and complaints made to the state about his procedures, it took Philadelphia this long to begin to seek justice for his actions. The next questions remains, how many more Dr. Gosnells are there practicing this kind of medicine at large? What is being done to hold them liable for their actions?

Without being gruesome, I wonder how an individual can do that with a clear conscience and as a doctor, have a duty to help those in need. What does a man like that believe in? Does he believe that when the time comes, that he will not have to answer for his actions? His transgressions were so blatant, that our society has gotten to the point where they will not condone his actions any longer. In one of the articles that I read, Dr. Kermit Gosnell openly jested that the fetuses he aborted were so big that they could be waiting at the corner for a ride on a bus. I felt that this would be an interesting topic to blog about because its something that as Christians, we feel strongly about and its an awful thing to see happening in the world.

Coach Carter and Counseling

The 2005 movie, Coach Carter, is a snapshot of a successful basketball coach's life. His influence on his basketball team extended to his community. Having built up a promising basketball team, one can surmise that his fearless style of coaching, which included benching the entire team for poor academic performance, was what transformed a misfit group of teens into a top notch basketball team.

So what does this story have to do with counseling? In class this past week, we examined the role of a counselor. Unlike the mechanic approach who looks to fix a problem, the survival guide who endures with the client through trauma, or even the optometrist who sheds a new light on the problem, the counselor can also assume the role of a coach. In this role, the coach must utilize the insight skills of the optometrist to identify the problem and possible solutions and must also endure with the client through trauma. The counselor, like the coach, motivates the client towards improvement, lending direction and advice as needed. The counselor is not only unafraid of conflict and confrontation but demonstrates patience while the client is learning and utilizing new skills, ready to encourage.

Coach Carter made me think of the coach approach to counseling. I enjoyed this movie and I personally like the coaching approach the most. I think it encompasses some of the benefits of the other approaches and is a natural fit for my personality. One point in the movie I particularly thought relevant to counseling is that Coach Carter had the insight and foresight to see what was most important for the individual basketball team members as well as the team as a whole. His focus was continuously on their well-being and he walked through life's trials with them during that time. Likewise, counselors, and especially Christian counselors, need to have the principle of beneficence first and foremost when working with clients.

God's Golden Voice

Did you ever stop to think when passing a homeless person on the side of the road, that you were passing a message from God? The man with the golden voice clip left had me in aw for several minutes. It is about a homeless man whose life has been shattered by drugs and alcohol. For over 15 years, Ted Williams has struggled with this problem. Not only has Ted’s life decisions led him to become homeless; it has also disconnected him from his mother and 9 children. Reportedly, Williams did not come from a dysfunctional home. In fact, he served our country for 3 years in the U.S. Army. He also attended voice acting school and upon completion, Williams worked for a local radio station in Ohio.

This story allowed me to recall the question in class, “What does it mean to be a Christian Counselor?” Due to Williams past and because of his promising future, a form of counseling should be incorporated into his new life. In the book of Colossians, throughout chapter 3, Paul talks about the life of the new man. He clearly states how earthly desires should be put to death and greed should not creep into our lives. God has favor over Ted and blessed Him with a second chance. This time around he will either need a coach for motivation, a mechanic to fix his problems, a survival guide to get him there safely, or an optometrist who will help him see life from a different perspective.

Now I am in no position to say whether or not Ted has accepted Christ as his personal savior, however, if he has not, that needs to be his first step. With the new found fame, temptation (the devil) will attack him every time he sees an opportunity. I believe Ted will need an effective counselor (optometrist) so that he may view life from a different and clearer focal point. He may encounter all four, but ultimately Ted must make the decision to use his second chance to bring honor to the One who made it possible. God heard his cry and did not bypass Ted; therefore, Ted should proclaim God mercy through his golden voice.