On Thursday, an article came out about a high school teacher from El Paso, Texas, who taped himself having sex with children. Probably up to 70, according to the article. Later in the article I read that he had been sexually abused as a child. Because of that, he said he felt relief after being arrested. But, does the fact that he was sexually abused as a child justify his actions? Does him feeling relief mean that he regrets or has repented from what he did?
There are two ways to respond to this type of situation. One, we can feel complete hatred and eternally condemn that person to hell by not showing mercy. Or two, we can try to understand why that teacher did what he did and why he is the way he is. In other words, we can show compassion. Some people place tons of emphasis on being compassionate and showing love while others emphasize judgment and no toleration for horrendous acts such as these. I fall into the latter category. I would have a very difficult time trying to understand why this teacher did what he did. I mean, to think, that a full-grown man tapes himself being involved in sexual acts with children is certainly grotesque and disgusting. If it wasn't because I knew the Lord, I would respond with extreme hatred towards this man, and not even want to help him because he "deserves" to go to hell.
How are Christian counselors supposed to help these difficult people who have their own background of bad things done to them? Just to clarify, I am not saying that we should justify this teacher's actions. I feel it is never right to justify what the Bible defines as wrong, even though I probably have justified myself many times. But I do believe that mercy can and should be extended to people who have done wrong. As difficult as it may be, Jesus does not ask us to justify why we feel anger towards certain people--no matter how right we may be--but instead, He commands us to forgive. God says, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay!" I think many times we try to play God's role in choosing who deserves forgiveness and who doesn't, when in reality, none of us deserve it. We all deserve eternal condemnation. However, God showed us mercy by sending His Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for you, me, and yes, even this teacher and many like him. Since one of the main factors in helping people change is accomplished through the relationship between counselor and client, it is important for the counselor to accept that what the person did is wrong, but then be able to put his/her negative feelings towards the client aside to help bring that client closer to God. For Christian counselors, the ultimate goal is draw people closer to God, and away from their sin. Easier said than done, but that is what God calls every Christian to do. Read Ephesians 6:1-10 to see how we should respond to people who fail, and how to protect ourselves from not falling into the same sin.
Good article. I think this goes along with the principle, "Love the sinner and hate the sin."
ReplyDeleteGod is both a judge of the sinfulness and wickedness of this world and yet he shows compassion because he has not destroyed us for our wickedness and he is patient when we ourselves sin. No matter the degree of sin we must understand that Jesus died for us all and there is no sin too great that he did and could not forgive if we surrender our hearts to him.
Very discussion and a hard story to take. We live in the dispensation of grace and what I have come to see is that, Christians and even human beings, we take advantage of the grace we have in Christ whether we Christians or not. In today's society, hat the sin and not the sinner just doesn't cut it anymore. There are so many horrendous acts that are being committed everyday and jumping to having compassion is not always the right thing to do. The compassion should be there but it has to be a stern one. If we say that just because he was sexually abused without having him know the consequences and ramifications is wrong. Being a Christian is not about being just being compassionate to people. Jesus was compassionate and yet He was hated and killed. Romans 6:1 - shall we continue in sin so that grace may abound, God forbid. Him wanting to get caught is not something I truly believe, if he knows what he is doing is wrong, he would have stopped it and confessed to someone. I seriously do not know what I would have done if it were me, but I believe that every human has the capacity to change. It is a lie to say that we can't stop ourselves from doing something that we know is wrong.
ReplyDeleteI agree Kay. As I said in my post, I tend to fall into the category of showing little to no compassion to purposeful sinning people. This is especially true in this case where young children are involved. I am tired of hearing these types of stories because it just makes sad about the reality of life. It makes me realize that there is so much to do with so little time. All we can do is what God has called us to do: help those who have physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Most importantly, show them their need for Jesus Christ!
ReplyDeleteKay, I think it was interesting that you used the phrase "jumping to having compassion." And Sam, as you said in your blog people usually fall to one end of the pendulum (judgement or compassion) without really entertaining the benefits or disadvantages of either. Before I really started my counseling education I think I would have, in this situation, jumped to judgment and wrote him off as totally depraved and a lost case. However, even though I still have little understanding, I know how to attempt to understand and have compassion (although I don't know how I would fair as his counselor emotionally!) more now than I used to. This guy needs both rebuke and compassion, and most of all an opportunity to know Christ.
ReplyDeleteThis topic is one that I have been facing for a while in my education, since I recieved my undergrad in Criminal Justice. I've studied, case after case of terrible crimes and also looked into the reasons behind why the crimes might have been committed.
ReplyDeleteThe CJ system is faced with the real choice of justice or mercy. This System is charge with the responsibility of the decision of how to handle this individual. In the CJ system, I believe the correct response is to understand why he commited the crime (in this case because he was abused as a child), but still assign a punishment that fits the crime. There are no excusses excepted in the CJ system.
The counseling dicipline is different. We are not here to punish, but instead to assisit in bringing people to healing and wholeness. Counselors must look into the "why" in order to develop a path to healing.
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ReplyDeleteGod is very compassionate and does not want anyone to go to hell. However, it is important to know that there are consequences for our actions and every crime must receive just punishment. This must be done in order to save the soul of the individual from eternal damnation which is the ultimate. Bible attests to this in 1Corithians5:5(Amplified) that "You are to deliver this man over to satan for physical discipline [to destroy carnal lusts which prompted him to incest], that his spirit may yet be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. Sometimes punishment may be part of the healing process because it can bring the individual to repentance in Christ which is the beginning of eternal journey.
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