I was reading Live Science and I came across this article that was about the concept of displaced anger. Well maybe anger is too strong of a word. It is more like displaced feelings of ill-will. In the article they were saying how when people feel bad about themselves they have been proven to be more prejudice against others.
I thought this was very interesting in light of something that I read in Larry Crabb’s book called Connecting. The book Connecting is all about how we can all help each other with the things that we are going through if we just take the extra time to make connections with one another that are meaningful. In the book Crabb made a point that people that don’t know us that well tend to find the most to appreciate in us.
The thing is, this turns into an ugly circle. For me when I am feeling bad about myself the thing that makes me feel better the fastest is when others say appreciative things to me. However the people that know me the least are most likely to be appreciative of me but according to the article I would push these people away due to my prejudices when I need them the most. So how do you get out of the circle? Well I guess that is what Crabb’s book is all about. We have to connect.
It is interesting that when people feel badly towards themselves they are more apt to act with prejudice towards others. The only was that this makes sense to me is that it is a type of defense mechanism, where a person who feels negatively toward himself will attempt to make someone else feel negatively toward himself in order that the first person might feel better about himself, in some twisted way. For example, the bully who will torment others in order to make himself feel better than them. This cycle is dangerous and it shows just how destructive lies and sin can be. When someone feels badly towards himself, he is probably believing lies about himself that just aren't true, such as that he is not good enough or cannot succeed. These lies lead to destructive behavior that pushes people away, instead of restorative behavior like connecting with others. The power of one little lie can be far more reaching than we imagine.
ReplyDelete