Over the break, I got really into the T.v. series Scrubs. There was one episode in particular where it was "parent's day" for all the interns. Through out the show you see the interaction between the interns and their parents. You see various guilt trips, unavailability, berating. The main character JD was talking to one of the head Doctors, Dr. Cox and JD told him that once again his father has flaked out of him. The dialogue proceeds like this:Dr. Cox: You re a 26 year old Doctor, who keeps crying about how horrible your father is.
JD:Well he did considerate emotional damage so. . .
Cox: at least one of your parents did emotional damage and from what I've heard it might be the best part of being of being a parent. . .this is something that I know you don't understand, but one day you will. I don't care if this is the first time you met your daddy--he could have done a much worse job."
Although this entire thing was hysterically funny to watch, this got me thinking about Sandra Wilson's book Hurt People, Hurt People. There are several chapter's devoted to parents in relationship to their children, She says that hurt parents will often end up hurting their children. She goes on to say that the emotional problems and the poor priorities that parents might have leaves children lacking the love, acceptance and emotional support they need (pg. 38). At the end of the chapter she leaves us with the idea that all parents are hurt in some degree and in turn we will be that parents.
We live in a fallen world. People let us down. I let people down, Parents due to their own issues and problems mess up, my own parent have messed up and have hurt me due to the lack of knowledge on what to do with the certain situations that I myself have thrown at them. But at the same time I see that they have done the best they can with what they know as parents. Perhaps all parents are doing the best they can as parents--although some of the stories you hear seem hard to believe and very unlikely-- but perhaps that is true.
But seeing that acted out on screen made me realize that reality that we are all hurt, and we all will hurt others and we are all desperately in need of the loving Father who heals.
This was a really interesting post and I think it brings up a great point. Too often parents are blamed with little regard for how hard they have been working to try and do it right. Everyone is bound to get hurt in some way or another growing up. But that being said, there are parents out there who do not try and are blatantly harmful to their children. But in these cases the children can one day rise above it and brake the cycle of abuse inflicted by their parents. I think the key is to trust that God is in control and learn to accept parents for both their good and bad. This is much more difficult for some than others but through the love of God it is possible.
ReplyDeleteI think every person is hurt people. Every person gets hurt when they live this world from anything as conversation, watching, thinking, and loving things. It is too difficult to control mind. God is in control our conscience, heart, and mind. However, it will be depends on how we understand all things.
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