Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Inviting God Back Into the Marital Bedroom

One day while at work, I was conversing with a colleague on the topic of keeping God at the center of all things we do.  My colleague shared a story of how a married couple expressed that they listen to worship music during their times of intimacy.  Immediately, I thought this was far-fetched and weird honestly, because I have never associated the two together. Ironically the next day, intimacy was one of the topics that emerged in a class discussion.  It was indicated that to experience true intimacy, all three aspects of the Trinity must be experienced at one time…and the best example of this is Christian marital sexual intercourse. 

Unfortunately, the nature of today’s corrupted (broken products of the Fall) world has perverted something that God has intended to be glorious.  We see the bastardization of this through infidelity, the use of pornography, or other marital contaminates that derive from the lack of self-control. Particularly, pornography in all of its forms is destructive and addictive. Although, it may begin out of curiosity, it can become a habit that takes control life and destroys spirituality. In having this lack of control individuals thought patterns are perverted, making it difficult for them to look at sexual intimacy in a wholesome way. Consequently, impacting a person’s ability to have a normal relationship with their spouse.  Dysfunctional relationships easily lead to infidelity and divorce. Various statistics present implications for further therapeutic attention.

These concepts eventually led to the idea of, “How do we invite God back into the marital bedroom?”   and not shut the door, leaving Him waiting outside.  Or better yet, get back to the garden where man and woman were naked and not ashamed.

Spiritual intimacy in marriage is about more than just spending time in God's Word. It's about learning how to connect with your spouse through your faith.  Research  indicates that the tools to rebuild trust and intimacy might include prayer, imagery, and meditation on texts emphasizing positive attributes of God. People can start building intimacy in their spiritual life by praying daily for their spouse and their relationship as a couple. Also, controlling negative feelings, thoughts, and eyes are all inclusive in changing behaviors that pervert marital intimacy.  Ultimately, having an appropriate understanding of intimacy is critical.

Sacred Marital Intimacy is based on:
Inappropriate Sexual Gratification is based on:
Mutual agreement
No Commitment/Disloyalty
Understanding each other
Lack of concern
God's teachings and boundaries
False teachings and lack of restraint
God's inspiration
Lucifer's temptations
And leads to unity, self-control and great blessings
And leads to isolation, addiction, and negative consequences


  1. Hey Corderius,

    Your post was really interesting. It brings into mind a sermon preached by a Pastor related to why the gift of sex as the intimate aspect of marriage is sacred and holy. He described in his words, "when you walk into a man/woman's (Husband and wife) bedroom, it is the temple of God, their room is the holy of holies, their bed is the altar and the man or woman are the sacrifice". In regards to what you mentioned, the trinity in intimacy is God's design of the perfect love. Yes, like you said, our world today has a distorted image of sex, marriage and relationship aspect, however, God's truth and depth of intimacy can only be seen by those who value holiness and obedience.

  2. Thanks for the good points Darlene. I believe your final statement emphasizes one of the underlying points affiliated with this post, self-control. Through exercising that control in various ways, we posture ourselves to experience His truth in such an intimate and personal way.

  3. Sometimes the general notions of right and wrong get confused with things that are popular. Beyond sex, we see these notions in almost any activity someone can do. What is deemed appropriate may indeed not even be close to how it was originally intended before the fall. This is a big part of what I have been learning over the last few weeks and months - that what is popular, and socially acceptable is not always right.

    1. Jason,

      Great point! This leads me to the constant thought that there is a fine line between what is "right" and "wrong," also what is used to define each. Of course as a Christian, God's Word "should" be the ultimate definitive; but as you indicated...societal standards (expectation or demand) sometimes surpass what is commanded of Believers.

  4. I appreciated this post and specifically like the chart you included. It's interesting to me how much of the world's mentality towards the definition and purpose of sexual intimacy it seems we are prone to blindly adopting--My eyes were recently opened to a knee-jerk reaction my husband and I both had while watching television--Just the other day we saw an older married couple on a movie kiss one which point the children in the scene with the couple said "ew, dad, yuck". My husband and I talked about the children's reactions and both admitted even feeling an immediate "ugh" towards the couple kissing ourselves---However, in the culture we are living in, we watch movies that glorify sexuality between noncommitted, nonmarried individuals on a regular basis and don't freak out when they kiss--The characters in the movies are jealous of the girl who gets to be "hooked up" with the cute guy at school--not the parents with the awesome 35 year relationship--steamy scenes flash accross the screen as the once ugly duckling turned beauty 'finally' swaps spit with the hottie and we applaud and recommend the movie to friends--One of the most popular shows right now on ABC is Scandal and viewers hardly bat an eye when the married PRESIDENT has an extra-marital affair with his ex-PR person--in fact viewers HATE his wife and wish he could ditch her. Our world is completely off-target when it comes to understanding the true nature, purpose, and place for sexual intimacy--much less the true reflection of God's character and image found in marital intimacy. Posts like this are so important in pointing us back to truth as we live in a world full of a million cultural voices telling us otherwise.

    1. Brandy,

      Good points. I believe the things that you highlighted speak volumes to the fallen nature that we live in. Also, a sad thing that is often overlooked is these perverted messages easily seep into viewers' unconscious.

  5. The topic of bringing God into married couples bedroom still makes me think "creepy!" As you mentioned this reaction is not uncommon because of how the world has distorted what sex was initially meant for. With a ratio of 1 in 4 reports of childhood sexual abuse and the prevalence of pornography addiction and sex trafficking, one does not want to put sex and God in the same sentence more or less the idea of bringing Him into the bedroom during sex. Sex was intended to be a beautiful thing but in the over sexualized world we live in, it has been reduced into something sinful and dirty. I know things are only going to get worse with the low morality of world, hopefully believers will be able to live lifestyles that will bring glory to God and what He intended sex to be.

    1. Victoria,

      I initial response was the same upon hearing the topic. I'll have to admit, I sometimes get caught up in the thought of sex being something sinful and dirty...more so because I am not married, so for me it currently is. I like the statement that you make about believers living a lifestyle that aligns with God's intention. This serves as a charge for me when I am married to articulate such truth. Thanks.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.