Tuesday, November 2, 2010

How to Raise the Men We’d Want to Marry

I came across an article on CNN titled How to raise the men we’d want to marry and I couldn't help but read it.

The author writes about raising children, and how raising a son to have a full emotional life is against societies belief of what a “real man” should be. She talks about how many believe a mother is not a suitable model for her son because boys are then taught to be too feminine instead of independent, masculine, and aggressive. When mother’s withdraw from their sons in an attempt to raise them with masculine traits, boys are not taught how to express their emotions in healthy ways.

This article brought me to Dr. Corsini’s last lecture, where he spoke about emotional regulation. He spoke about how the ability for someone to develop emotions comes from a variety of areas, including modeling in the family context. If mother’s are modeling behaviors that encourage their sons not to express their emotions in a healthy way, then they may be inhibiting their sons abilities to become emotional mature. This may be one of the ways that is hindering the ability for many to effectively develop emotions.

Although this article may seem as though it is focusing on raising boys to be good husband's, I believe that the author it making an extremely important point. Society is compelling us to believe that we need to raise our sons to be masculine, independent, and to not express emotions. Could this way of raising children, especially boys be resulting in men who are not capable of regulated emotions? I believe that we should not be afraid to have boys who develop and express emotions in a healthy way, as this will help in the process of emotional maturity.

2 comments:

  1. I love this article! I cannot agree enough about how guys are not being raised in healthy homes that encourage them to express their emotions. I have witnessed several guys within my circle of friends and even guys that I have dated that look towards showing emotions such as sadness as being weak. It makes it extremely hard to date guys who are insensitive because it is impossible for them to understand a female which results in the relationship not working out. More guys need to learn that it is normal and healthy to express emotions.

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  2. Definitely! After the lecture today it really gave an insight to child rearing. As we learned today, children need quick, constant, effective attention despite the gender, all children long for this.
    I never understood why parents are so quick to hassle boys for showing an once of emotion and yet for their girls its normal and acceptable even encouraged. Yet, when these same children grow up, parents have a hard time trying to get their boys to communicate and connect and even hard time controlling the hyper-dramatic emotions of their girls. Seems silly and very counterproductive!

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