Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Dirty Soccer Player...

In this video you see the dirty play of a women's soccer player from New Mexico, number 15, Elizabeth Lambert. There are punches, undercuts, and she even pulls her opponent's hair.

At first it seemed funny, but as I watched it again, I was reminded of our books in class Hurt People Hurt People and Connecting. Sandra D. Wilson (2001) explains how victims of abuse become victimizers. She writes:
If I overpower, dominate, and abuse you today, it temporarily numbs the
pain I still have because I was overpowered, dominated, and abused
yesterday. Apparently victims gain a sense of inner strength and personal
mastery by dominating someone even more powerless than themselves
Now I am not assuming that this soccer player was abused, I am simply acknowledging the fact that sometimes we react and response in ways that hurt others emotionally, and in this case physically, in order to numb the pain in us. Is the reason why this player reacted this way due to being hurt herself, or could it be the problem of being disconnected as Larry Crabb puts it?

According to Wilson, the results of the problems our parents struggle with are the same for the children: "Fear, confusion, distrust, anger, insecurity, and the list goes on." I wonder what Elizabeth Lambert's story really is. Who, what, and when are the people who have hurt her so bad that she reacted this way? Was it her parents? Was it abuse, neglect, or a lie that she believed where winning should be at all costs? Whatever the case, we all need to be reminded of the truth that "when we hide from painful truths, we deprive ourselves of discovering that Jesus, the Great Physician, is as able to heal our unseen wounds as He is to forgive our sins" (p. 23).

For me, I was blessed to have connected with my counselor in such a way that I felt safe and loved, in order to deal with the hurts and wounds that were inside me. Through connecting with her, and understanding the concept of hurt people hurt people, I was able to begin the process of forgiving those people that hurt me, including my family, as well as forgiving myself. Maybe someday, I can help people like Elizabeth Lambert learn and understand these same lessons.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, I am speechless. You are right, are first glance this clip make you giggle and maybe even some ow’s and ah’s. But once you think about it, there is something wrong with the girl. The fact that she thinks it is remotely acceptable to carry out this type of direct violence raises a red flag in the average person’s eyes. As a former athlete in high school, I was competitive as the rest. I hated to lose. Did it hurt when I (wrestling) or my team lost? Absolutely! But I never once commit flagrant fouls against my opponents. Perhaps she feels that by hurting others temporarily in order to make her pain and hurt subside briefly is the reason she is acts in such a manner. Dr. Wilson devotes an entire chapter to people like her. Perhaps she should see seek counseling and this book to deal with the problems. As long as she is hurting inside, the more likely she is to continue to hurt others on, as well as off the field.


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