Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Dirty Soccer Player...
In this video you see the dirty play of a women's soccer player from New Mexico, number 15, Elizabeth Lambert. There are punches, undercuts, and she even pulls her opponent's hair.
At first it seemed funny, but as I watched it again, I was reminded of our books in class Hurt People Hurt People and Connecting. Sandra D. Wilson (2001) explains how victims of abuse become victimizers. She writes:
If I overpower, dominate, and abuse you today, it temporarily numbs the
pain I still have because I was overpowered, dominated, and abused
yesterday. Apparently victims gain a sense of inner strength and personal
mastery by dominating someone even more powerless than themselves
Now I am not assuming that this soccer player was abused, I am simply acknowledging the fact that sometimes we react and response in ways that hurt others emotionally, and in this case physically, in order to numb the pain in us. Is the reason why this player reacted this way due to being hurt herself, or could it be the problem of being disconnected as Larry Crabb puts it?
According to Wilson, the results of the problems our parents struggle with are the same for the children: "Fear, confusion, distrust, anger, insecurity, and the list goes on." I wonder what Elizabeth Lambert's story really is. Who, what, and when are the people who have hurt her so bad that she reacted this way? Was it her parents? Was it abuse, neglect, or a lie that she believed where winning should be at all costs? Whatever the case, we all need to be reminded of the truth that "when we hide from painful truths, we deprive ourselves of discovering that Jesus, the Great Physician, is as able to heal our unseen wounds as He is to forgive our sins" (p. 23).
For me, I was blessed to have connected with my counselor in such a way that I felt safe and loved, in order to deal with the hurts and wounds that were inside me. Through connecting with her, and understanding the concept of hurt people hurt people, I was able to begin the process of forgiving those people that hurt me, including my family, as well as forgiving myself. Maybe someday, I can help people like Elizabeth Lambert learn and understand these same lessons.